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The Colbert Report/Episode/529
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro Shout Out * Happy St. Patrick's Day * Green washes Dr. Colbert out * known for wearing a little green ** reminds Stephen of the armed forces * Marines may be ** Stephen is fewer and a complete narcissist * Colbert Report Shout Out ** 153rd Infantry Regiment, Charlie Company *** They invite Dr. Colbert to "come on over!" * he would do whatever he is told by anyone with an automatic weapon * taking the Colbert Report overseas! ** to the Persian Gulf! * cannot tell all the details ** do no reference the name of the country * there will be sand and people wish he would leave ** could be the Bahamas * do not reference tour dates * To Recap ** Colbert Report will visit troops in near or distant future (or past) * best news: Tickets are still available ** go to goarmy.com, sign up, Colbert Aluminum * it will be a relief ** country has screwed the pooch * the recession is making us aim the death ray * humble opulence * Colbert Aluminum ** for aluminum members only * if the amount that you've lost doesn't end in "illionaire" ** tell the greyhounds bus driver to change the channel * New cigars: ** Nubs, shorter versions of luxury cigars * latest fashion of the wel-to-do ** New Faux Poor *** canceling parties, firing the staff * show solidarity with the commoners: adopt a fake Cockney accent * some rich are not faking their losses ** man is selling island * real estate tips ** word real estate listing *** tropical instead of malaria ** gear to natural market *** advance degree negative surname * wait a few years before starting a new Ponzi Scheme SEGMENT3 * those of us who don't understand science are under attack ** why is gravity trying to keep Stephen down? * Obama reversed Bush's Stem Cell policies ** desperate attempt to grow himself a Commerce Secretary * astrology ** helps make staffing decisions * florescent cats ** can live his dream of reading by cat light * Stephen Colbert's World Of Nahlej ** Americans love putting our mind-mouths to meat * our meat supply is under attack ** from PETA * visionary scientist working to save the * Dr. Vladimir Maronov(sp) ** he's a commie ** Science of meat ** new way to grow meat *** grow meat in a petri dish, which may be a cat or meat * when is not the right question ** when if you have all necessary money * PETA supports tissue culture meat ** offered $1-million behind it * Shmeat ** combination of shit and meat ** inescapable future of humanity ** tastes like Shmicken Interview * David Grann * book: "The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon" * is looking for the Lost City of Z ** Stephen will ask him the lost reason of Y * fascinating story * he went to the amazon ** followed the adventures of Percy Fawcett, a great Victorian explorer, Amazon 1906 (before Hollywood) *** size of the United States * Stephen has no idea what's in Ohio * took 20 men with him half his party would die ** did this for 20 years * when he began he was only mapping the area ** didn't know Peru, Brazil or * his oldest son and his son's best friend ** sent out dispatches via Indian runners (Early 20th Century twittering) * he didn't find it * after 5 months, he vanished * next 80 years people would search for him ** they also died, malaria starvation, also got lost * has eye problems, fear of snakes ** could have found it but didn't see it * Brad Pitt will star in it ** will not play Grann, but Fawcett * to give Colbert a monkey necklace/crown ** from the Kalapalos Indians Epilogue * nearly midnight, time to update the Persian Gulf Clock ** we are either one day closer--or further--there's no way to know * then Dr. Colbert wished The Heroes goodnight Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments